Some of us can accept things in the past that have happened even if they have gone against what we had hoped for. People say, “I’ve made my peace with it”. They are no longer fighting a battle over things that they cannot change. The opposite of letting things pass means that we burden our current lives fighting phantoms:
There is a story about two monks who come upon a woman at the side of a river. These monks were not supposed to even look at women, let alone carry them. When the woman asked the monks to carry her across the river, one monk refused but the other took the woman on his back and swam across. The first monk was very perturbed but didn’t say anything as they continued their journey. Finally, unable to let it go, the first monk asked, “Why did you carry that woman when we took a vow as monks not to touch women?” The other monk replied, “Brother, I dropped the woman on the bank of the river, but it seems you are still carrying her around in your head.”
Maybe you are able to move on from past events. If you are, your life is freer and lighter. But what about accepting events in the moment, instantaneously? Are you able to do that?
Watch for the next time you feel your defenses going up. Maybe you are driving, and another driver dangerously cuts you off. Is your immediate reaction to feel rage (big or small)? “He/she shouldn’t have done that!“ Anytime “shouldn’t have” enters into your internal conversation, you can be sure you are not accepting something!