How to Cope with Family Stress

It is true that I went on a sailing journey. I was a not-so-young married woman with two children in tow. At the start of that three-year sailing trip, I don’t think I understood what the quest was about. I understood that I wanted my family to be immersed in nature, to experience many cultures yet feel our common humanity. What I didn’t know was that my ever-present desire for something deeper in life would be met on this journey.

We sold our house and bought a sailboat on the other side of the planet – New Zealand. We hadn’t planned on leaving from there but that was the location of the stable steel home that met our stringent safety requirements. It was red. We voyaged to the smaller South Pacific islands once we learned how to manage with a toddler and preschooler aboard. When it was time to return to New Zealand, three people on three separate occasions mentioned that we should go to Nelson. We altered course and stepping on that shore was how I met Yuan Tze and was introduced to Yuan Qigong and REN XUE. I knew instantly that these teachings were important for me. I began learning, teaching and practicing, practicing, practicing.

The benefits of Qigong

Over time, did I have more energy? Yes. Did I feel better? Absolutely yes. Did I develop a new way of seeing and being in the world? A very big yes. My list of subtle changes could go on for a while but lists don’t make very interesting reading. One thing I learned from sailing is that people always want to know about the storms – so I’ll take you there.

It was a Saturday morning at the market when the world began to cloud over. My husband grabbed hold of me to stop his fall. It wasn’t vertigo with the world spinning around him. It was everything on his insides spinning. This was the beginning of a 3-year illness with many medical specialists who could neither diagnose nor help. It brought financial instability and the need to sell our home. Three years stretched to 5 years of uncertainty, disruption, the death of my mom, the loss of our pet, and the seemingly never-ending search for a new home.

As the world spun around me and moved into a pandemic, I looked inside for balance. Yuan Qigong and the Ren Xue teachings were my hand-holds, my anchor to calm within. Although I had practiced all nine Yuan Gong methods, Tong Yuan – the 7th method of the Yuan Qigong system – came to the forefront. This intimate meditation speaking with my heart became my practice in the middle of the night while waiting at the hospital, while driving, cooking, and generally anytime I was able. Fear came in waves over and over but it was like I had climbed the mast for a different view. I began seeing the storm before it arrived. Even though I still got sloshed around, the movement lessened and I could slow it down sooner, before the disturbance got bigger. I felt peace.

Weather the storms of change

We can’t control the storms in life but we all have the capacity to choose how we weather them. We can learn to be more aware of our internal conditions, check our anchor often, and when our internal calm gets dislodged we can re-anchor over and over and over again.

Unlike the fairy tales, we don’t need to quest across the ocean and happen upon a magic rock. The Ren Xue tools are available to anyone who wishes to pick them up and hold them in their heart.